Category: emotional intelligence

This Is Not Lemonade

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Can we talk?

I want to offer this disclaimer about my social media-especially my Facebook. One of the things I learned during my study was that some of us have themes in mind when it comes to the construction of our online personas. I know I definitely do. Having conducted an academic study on social media culture and motivations for posting, I’m hyper aware of my own pages and often stop myself from analyzing themes and /or predicting profile behaviors of others.

Personally, I use my social media as a platform to share either knowledge or joy with a touch of self-depreciation. “Knowledge or joy,” in my world, consists of things I find hilarious, perspectives that resonate with me (most often offensive sarcasm), factual and vetted social justice matters, and of course my emotional intelligence musings. I’m very protective of my relationships with my partner, my line sisters, and my friends and family so I only troll them in private. And I do troll LOL.

Well, what about Wumie? Yes, I troll Wumie in public because I am a douche, but never over anything serious. If we’re having a fight, my social media isn’t going to tell y’all.

I’m like four different people online honestly:

Twitter: A weird mix between a social justice crusader who offers her TIME to educating trolls and an avid Bravo TV Stan. I also stalk Crissle’s tweets.

Instagram: A completely f-ckless, free- spirited, podcasting, functional alcoholic.

(Because my mamma isn’t there).

Facebook: A much more watered down version of my Instagram self. (Because my mamma IS there).

SnapChat: a 93 year old auntie who doesn’t belong there. At all.

I understand that it is natural to assume what people post is always about their own lives-like an expression of what they are going through. However, when it comes to my page, consider that I find something hilarious or share it with the intention of helping someone to level up their thinking. It’s hardly ever about me unless I say it is. Some things align with my podcast focus or persona (who is basically me), others align with my advice articles for an online publication.

One of the points I share as often as I can is “it’s better left said in a GroupMe thread” because it’s what I mean. In my world, real shit is shared/discussed offline. So when people assume my posts are about them, as a rule, it never is. That thinking is likely self-congratulatory-which is very much human.

Trolling people I love leads to saying a whole bunch of shit I don’t mean and can’t take back because the internet etches it in stone and yall know the internet DON’T FORGET NUTHIN.

For example, last night, I posted about women being taught to STOP loving as much as we are taught to love. This post does not mean I need to stop loving my partner. This post is not me crying out for help to the Facebook community for advice on how to deal with my relationship lol. The post was shared in hopes of sharing (for lack of a better term) this knowledge with fathers/moms/aunties/other influencers of young women NOW, so that they are emotionally equipped to date in this world. How many potentially broken hearts could we prevent if we actively considered this perspective?

(Personally, my issue is often closer to sustaining the feeling of love for people, as opposed to not knowing how to turn it off. I am aware of my sociopathic tendencies).

Another example is when I share information supporting the rights of the LGBTQ community. It never fails to hit my inbox. I’ve had a few people express their disappointment/confusion regarding my sexuality because of my posts, but I ask them to take the information for what it is. I’m not going to “come out” on Facebook all of a sudden without a personal disclaimer of some sort and if you know me personally, you already know the deal with my sexuality. I’m simply very passionate about leaving people the hell alone and not projecting my opinions onto them about who and how they should LOVE. I like to share information to support the spreading of TOLERANCE.

So, while it may “appear” like “oh she’s posting all this ‘gay stuff’ 🙄 because she’s trying to tell us something. This is why we don’t see her man on here.” Don’t assume I’m trying to tell you anything. I’ll just tell you or I won’t.

Conclusion: Just take social media for what it is. Don’t tie it to my life directly. When it’s personal, like when I discuss my local Cersei Lannister, I preface it with something obvious that tells you this is about me.

Thanks for attending my press conference. To those who have reached out, I love you all for caring. Consider this perspective when you are on other profiles as well.

*This is not shade. I just love clarity and misinformation is a trigger for me. #selfaware